I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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