thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
