I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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