You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
