party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
