I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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