Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize