how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
