Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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