remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
