Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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