We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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