also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
