Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize