tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
