Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
