I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
