Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
