I have demons in me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
