Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
