I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize