She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
