We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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