so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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