Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
