Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
please don't ironically join a cult
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