I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
