He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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