Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
