i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
