I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
