The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
