I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
