can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
