WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize