Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
