the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
