I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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