I wanna bring you to show and tell
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
