Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
my poor anus
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
