my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
