the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
