My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
