I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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