i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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