my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
