# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
