i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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