This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Randomize
