I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
