So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
