Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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