I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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