She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
