you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
