Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
