I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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