Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
