I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
