I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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