you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
