He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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