She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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