That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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