he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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