pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
